I spent the weekend in celebration with my family.
I hosted a watch party at my house on Saturday. Tony, Ashanti, Reggie, Reggie’s brother, Shanequa, Tanesha, Greg, Brittany, Jamesha, Jessica, and Dame all came through. We centered it around Hidden Colors 4 but spent most of the time talking about Black Power and drinking. Such a good time. Monday, we (Jessica, Brittany, Ken Will, and myself) came together for the 4th. Will was in town from NYC, so it felt good to be all together again. We went to see Aunt Linda on Wednesday. She’s home from the hospital. She is still pretty weak, but she sounds better than she did when we went to visit her last week.
Today I don’t have the words to describe what I am feeling. 2 black men shot in cold blood, murdered by police officers on video in the past 48 hours. Another Black man found hanging from a tree in Piedmont Park in Atlanta. They are calling it a suicide. Like we’re crazy. Everyone I know is on Facebook posting about it. I can’t. I have so many reasons known and unknown, but I just can’t engage right now. I can’t watch the news. I don’t want to talk about it. All I want to do is work on bringing Black youth together to talk about Black Power as soon as possible. I can’t be stagnant. I won’t be a public spectacle of pain.
This isn’t to dismiss the grieving of my people. It is just to name my own process. I must tunnel vision. I can’t deal with this right now or I will become stagnant. Today I will focus on healing. I had no meat today. Just water, almond butter and jelly sandwiches, smoothies and I’m closing with a salad. Reading. Writing. Resting. Working. Dreaming.
I’m dreaming of 5000 Black youth becoming 5000 Black families becoming 5000 Black businesses becoming 5000 collective powerhouses for our community. I’m dreaming of their video autobiographies, their poems and songs, their photography and art, their activism, their Black Power projects.
I’m dreaming of video testimonials and news stories, proud parents, proud teachers, and proud schools’ I’m dreaming of HBCU grads, new banks, and grocery stores, housing complexes, and collective economics. I’m dreaming of alumni becoming board members and employees. I’m dreaming to stay sane. This work is my therapy.
Ancestors be with me. Be with us. Give us clarity and direction. You are in us. You are us. Help us hear you.
– J